Note this, per Molly Cain.
Have you ever been standing in a line, feeling anxious but you are not quite able to put your finger on the why? If you are lucky, all of the sudden something will catch your eye and act as a healing and calming mechanism …? Well, this was me earlier this week at sprouts on Tuesday.
The past 10 days my morning routine has been off, where my meditation practice has been neglected to work on training, working in the corporate world, running SMILE #UWokeUp, amongst trying to attempt the dating world. The usual, for Molly Cain. However, Tuesday was different. I normally like to be in control of things but life does not typically work this way. We get caught up in daily distractions, priorities and commitments. Until, we make he decision to quiet the mind and take a step back. Usually we do not enter this pathway until an incident occurs.
Tuesday, I went to Sprouts on my lunch break to get a protein box for lunch. At Sprouts, I was experiencing heavy anxiety and I could not pinpoint why. I told my mom that any anxiety is the fucking worse, but when a TBI-er experiences anxiety. This is a whole different tropical storm and ball game, you have to be fully prepared for anything know matter your stage of recovery. I was getting closer and closer to the cashier but I was so distracted by everything in sight, while my mind was running a million miles a minute thinking about my corporate job duties that needed to be completed when I returned to the office. As well as the different duties that needed to be completed prior to the SMILE #UWokeUp meeting that was being held that evening, along with the emails that were crucial and needing to be sent asap … I took a deep breath and made eye contact with this Paleo magazine. I picked it up twice and held it in my hands as I walked through the line, thinking to myself that you do not need this, but after every page that I flipped I wanted the magazine more and more. This piece of literature was becoming my safety blanket through the racing thoughts and ideas caused by the mind. Until, I saw the price and this sent me over the edge. The price for this one magazine was as much as the monthly subscription to 12 magazines, they just are not special editions. In my panic and racing thoughts and ideas, I paid for the items with the thought in mind that I would return the magazine after work. Except, the encounter did not end up like this and this was the starting point to my realization that a few moves needed to be made for an uplifting change.
After work, I went back to Sprouts before I lead a meeting in Northern Colorado for SMILE #UWokeUp. The cashier I spoke to told me that they do not accept returns on magazines nor books. I totally get this and the kind woman was only doing her job, but my body cringed with frustration. I politely said thank you, followed by bullocks as I excited Sprouts. Somewhere between the door and my car, I became lit on fire from within totally raging with frustration. This, my friends, is where I re-aligned with my beautiful being and spark of love and light. I reunited with my soul and spirit enough to realize that I am upset about something that was avoidable to being with. I could have calmed down the mind enough to process that the magazine was far too expensive, and not cared about the line that was behind me. However, anxiety kicked in and we did not make it to this point. So am I upset about the magazines cost or the fact that I had hardcore anxiety which blocked my mental pathways and way of thinking? Maybe both, but the reality of this is. I have a TBI (traumatic brain injury) that comes with a big red bow called anxiety. When rolling with the punches in the big picture of life, I calmed myself down to a gentle roar adding the reminder of how blessed that I am to even experience something like this on my own. Honored to have a new magazine that will teach me or show me a new way to thinking of life itself. After a 5-minute master confusion rage, I began to see the brighter side to things and realized how important my daily routine and meditation mantra really are.
What is one thing that you do out of routine that helps keep you balanced?
*Struggles of a TBI Warrior, Thriver, Dreamer and Outdoor enthusiast*
#TBI #Thriver #Dreamer #traumaticbraininjury #Survivor #Athlete #UltraMarathon #Triathlete #Ironman #Loveroflife #Life #FullyLiving #Fuelyoursoul #Universe #God #Higherpowers #Loveyou